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Terry Real – New Ways to Work with Last-Chance Couples with Terry Real: The Relational Life Therapy Approach to Couples Therapy
Can you help the couple who’s lost all hope?
They’ve come to you because they’re out of options. They’ve tried everything. This is their last shot.
You need a powerful approach that works … and works quickly.
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) is a unique couples therapy approach refined over 30 years by bestselling author Terry Real. RLT creates an atmosphere of intense truth-telling and zeros in with speed, sensitivity, and clarity on the relationship patterns that stand in the way of change. Integrating empathic joining, inner child work, confrontation, and humor, RLT instills hope in discouraged partners and leads them toward the experience of shared vulnerability that’s essential to emotional healing.
As Richard Schwartz, originator of Internal Family Systems, says, “RLT helps reawaken couples who seem trapped in a long-term stalemate and allows them to move toward growth and fuller Selfhood.”
In this Master Class, you get a front-row seat to a clinical session with Terry Real, originator of RLT.
Watch Terry in session with Nancy and Dan, a couple on the brink of separation, as he guides them from emotional standoff to vibrant reconnection. Learn to identify behaviors that keep partners stalemated and gain the leverage to help them change. Discover the secret to jump-starting compassion and reigniting affection. You’ll witness Dan and Nancy experience a dramatic turnaround you won’t forget.
And as in all our Master Classes, we’ll break away to examine the how and why of what’s happening in the session and Terry will share the thinking behind his moment-to-moment clinical choices.
What’s included in this course:
- Learn the RLT model of therapy through a lively conversation with its creator so you can discover the secret to jump-starting compassion and reigniting affection between partners in your practice.
- Watch Terry at work in a clinical session with Nancy and Dan, a couple who are giving their marriage one last shot after years of therapy.
- Gain insight as Terry shares the thinking behind his clinical decisions at critical points in the session through a lively interview with fellow therapist and Networker editor Rich Simon. Terry will teach you how to identify the patterns that keep partners locked in a destructive dance and gain the leverage to help them change.
- Listen to Terry answer your questions on how to best apply the RLT approach to your practice in a recorded Q&A call.
An Introduction to Relational Life Therapy (RLT)
- Joining through the truth—a powerful RLT technique that jump-starts the therapeutic alliance
- The role of RLT therapist as a truth-teller and the limitations of therapeutic neutrality
- The secret to tapping into partners’ hidden reserves of kindness and compassion for each other
- How to empower each partner’s “functional adult” so positive change continues beyond the session
- The RLT data gathering process illustrated step by step
- The therapist’s role in getting agreement from both partners about the real problem in their marriage
- The secret to finding leverage for change and using it effectively
- 3 key steps to building a therapeutic alliance
- How to keep the session focused and on-track by amplifying emotion, braking for affect, translating what partners say to what they mean and more
Clinical Demo and Analysis, Part 2
- How to work with each partner’s inner child to quickly identify the roots of dysfunctional behaviors
- The secret to helping clients separate their functional adult self from their dysfunctional relationship stance
- The importance of education in maintaining and strengthening the transformation in the partner’s character, awareness, and behavior
- Tips for practicing detachment from outcome, digging for concrete details, joining through the truth, and finding points of leverage quickly and accurately
ABOUT THE SPEAKER

Terry Real, LICSW, is an Internationally Recognized Family Therapist, Speaker and Author. Terry founded the Relational Life Institute (RLI), offering workshops for couples, individuals and parents around the country along with a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his RLT (Relational Life Therapy) methodology.
A family therapist and teacher for more than 25 years, Terry is the best-selling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Scribner), the straight-talking How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women (Scribner), and most recently The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work (Random House). Terry knows how to lead couples on a step-by-step journey to greater intimacy — and greater personal fulfillment.
A senior faculty member of the Family Institute of Cambridge in Massachusetts and a retired Clinical Fellow of the Meadows Institute in Arizona, Terry has worked with thousands of individuals, couples, and fellow therapists. Through his books, the Institute, and workshops around the country, Terry helps women and men, parents and non-parents, to help them create the connection they desire in their relationships.
Terry’s work, with its rigorous commonsense approach, speaks to both men and women. His ideas on men’s issues and on couple’s therapy have been celebrated in venues from “Good Morning America”, “The Today Show” and “20/20”, to “Oprah” and The New York Times.
A proponent of “full-throttle marriage,” as described in The New Rules of Marriage, Terry has been called “the most innovative voice in thinking about and treating men and their relationships in the world today.”
The New York Times book review described Terry’s work as: “A critical contribution to feminist psychology (that) brings the Men’s movement a significant step forward.” Robert Bly hailed it as “moving onto new ground in both story and song. Exhilarating in its honesty.”
Terry’s Relational Life Institute grew out of his extensive and empathic experience. He teaches people how to make their relationships work by providing products and services designed to teach the principles of Relational Life™, so that everyone can enjoy full respect living and craft a healthy life legacy.
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