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The Creative Writing Class 2023 – Meat & Hair (Ash Ambirge)
Or how about these fun-filled symptoms? You ever experience these filthy thoughts while writing / procrastinating /contemplating binge nachos?
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Ugh, that sounds stupid. What am I, a prepubescent crotch molecule?
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On paper I never sound like myself—I swear I’m way more fun than this.
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Who is this formal, stiff, characterless corporate robot???
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GENERIC CITYYYYYY.
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Everybody else is more clever / creative / cool / funny than me.
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Why do I even bother?
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Is anybody even reading this? Hello?
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I SOUND LIKE MR. ROGERS ATE A SOCCER MOM.
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I can’t seem to communicate what I really think and feel.
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I always sound awkward.
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Yeah, nice caption, dipwit. “Comment below if you agree!” Real original, Jan!
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No one’s clicking. No one’s buying. No one even cares I’m alive.
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Am I wasting my time? Should I be cashing people out at Aldi’s Discount Warehouse? Would that be a better use of my time?
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Another launch with zero fanfare. Cool, cool, cool.
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I don’t even know what “my voice” is. (That fabled, elusive parable of the gods.)
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What’s too much? What’s not enough? How do I ride the line between professional & personality?
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“Just following up!” I wrote (yet) again, unsure what else to say.
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Standing out is a cruel myth. We are all selling the same thing! How much different can I be?!
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Writing isn’t even fun anymore—it’s just a giant, fleshy, smelly armpit of a chore…except I gotta do it, because this is what my entire career / life / marriage / FUTURE HOBBY AS OPRAH IS RIDING ON.
“Salepage: https://www.meatandhair.com/creative-writing-school”
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